Stress originates from our early primitive ancient ancestors and is our most basic instinct, known as the “fight, flight or freeze”, response, which was and still is the first reaction to a danger to keep us safe. How quickly our ancestors instinctively responded was paramount to whether they lived or died.
Nowadays, we, generally, do not need to use the fight, flight or freeze, response except in exceptional circumstances, when for example being involved in a road traffic accident or the victim of an attack or similar experience. Our brain, however, remains in a constant state of alert even while we sleep.
Can you recall a time when you were asleep and you heard a noise that woke you up and placed you in a panic as to what it was? Then, do you go to find out what it was, hide under the bed clothes pick up your phone ready to dial 999 or do you freeze?. I know when I have been alone and heard a noise, I have frozen as its a frightening experience in itself. It's as if your whole body is frozen and you cannot move only your thoughts continue as panic steps in all the time listening for other sounds.
It’s not a nice experience, is it?
Our bodies can often place us in a state of alert or ‘stress’ or ‘anxiety’ when we are subjected to a something we perceive to be a danger, although it may not be a danger as such but something we do not like or have become fearful of which results in placing our bodies in a state of alert or “fight, flight or freeze. For example many people develop fears or phobias usually in childhood and directly as a result of someone else's response. I have seen dozens of the clients with fears of spiders, mice, birds, fears of heights, flying and of people being sick (emetophobia) etc., and most were as a result of seeing one of their parents reacting badly to something. So they then take on the same fear response that they have witnessed.
These fears are so referred to as external fears and they can be overcome using a number of therapies which are tailored to your needs.
There are other stresses which we call internal stresses, which result from our own emotional responses to situations such as getting angry maybe due to the way we are treated by others which we feel is unfair or unjust, or we may become emotional seeing someone we love, being hurt. We may feel deeply hurt and/or angry finding out that our spouse has cheated on us, breached our trust and we may also feel hurt and angry that our spouse dies and leaves us on our own.
We do not choose to have these feelings but they often appear from nowhere and once they are there it becomes a very hard job to get rid of them. Its like a seed is planted and it keeps growing and growing until the stressful thoughts and feelings take over and each time we experience the feeling our heart begins to race there is a surge of adrenaline as our bodies are placed in a constant state of alert that we call stress and anxiety and its a devil to shake off.
It can be very difficult to remove or overcome these fears alone.
I can easily help you to remove these fears so that you can get on with your life.
Why not call me for a free half an hour consultation, to discuss how I can help you.
I went to see Jacqui last year as I had some issues around self-esteem and felt that I was procrastinating. Jacqui was brilliant, we went through techniques that helped me to clear things that I didn't even realise were holding me back. Since then I have achieved so much including releasing my first children's book. I would recommend her to anyone. Gabrielle Brierley
Hi Jacqui Just thought I would drop you a message to let you know that I managed to fly on holiday with no anxiety on the outboard flight actually enjoying most of it and minimal anxiety on the return flight which was manageable so whatever you did must have worked, thank you!
I cannot recommend Jacqui enough and thank her for everything she has done for me. To have your life back and feel happy again is the best feeling in the world.
Dear Jacqui, I just want to express my sincere thanks on behalf of P and I for your kindness in the way you dealt with P and resolved her fear and also for resolving mine. I did not realise that my fear could be transferred to my daughter, I can't thank you enough, great therapy
Since starting my sessions with Jacqui I feel like a different person. Initially, I was seeking help for my chronic hives, which I had been suffering with for two and a half years. Jacqui is a great listener, kind and caring. She helped me get to the root of my problems and together we addressed many issues which were causing me stress and anxiety. I cannot recommend Jacqui enough and thank her from the bottom of my heart for everything she has done for me.